Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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