i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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