My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
