Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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