Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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