summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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