the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
