idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
