It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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