Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I AM VODKA MAN
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
