i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
