I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
