I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
