We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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