I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
