Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
