Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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