i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
