I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
