i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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