I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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