sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i think i have two assholes
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
