I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
