He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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