I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
