Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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