jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Even my vagina gasped.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
