I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
