Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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