I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
