I wish I could teleport
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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