call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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