The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
