whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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