My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
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