She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
