He is an equal opportunity slut.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
