Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
