I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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