Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
All I want is dick and wine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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