are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
