i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
