There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
