I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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