playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
