I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The adults are the big ones right?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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