Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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