there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
