She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
