im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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