so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
