I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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