North Korea, Best Korea!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
