My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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