i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
