Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Dear god my vagina.
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