I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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