____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize