One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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