You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
