i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
