I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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