Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
