he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
