I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
