Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
