thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
