Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
