i think i have two assholes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
