is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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